Having just finished a workout that I can confidently say would flatten ANY person that belongs to my gym, regardless of sex or age, I feel old.
Yes I said it “I feel old!” Mark this date in your calendars my students for this is the first time I ever, ever, ever let such words creep out of my mouth.
Why would I utter such nonsense?
Could it be fatigue from hurdle work?
Perhaps two blocks of tumbling?
Please people this is a Renegader here.
Then you would guess it would have to be the three four minute rounds of rope work, right?
11 minute session of ladder drills?
5 rounds of GPP?
Oh, perhaps the one armed snatches with a barbell?
Pause squats?
Split jerk?
Pull ups?
No? Then it had to be the 30 min session of LPS followed by Pink, right?
Knees? Back?
Really people, I could have done it all again if I wanted, well except perhaps the LPS. Ah who am I kidding I could have went at it again with just a tiny bite to eat. No, I was not feeling old from any of these fantastic exercises separate or combined. In fact I felt really good, my nervous system was aflame! I felt old because of two words…….
Dippin Dots.
Yes you heard me, Dippin Dots!
WTF JJ? You suffer another concussion?
No concussion my friends just a run in with one of my power lifter friends.
There I am finishing up my stretches when in walks “Big Jeffy.” Think Westside folks, go ahead stereotype its okay. Think big Viking tattoo that looks to have been inked in a Russian prison plastered on his enormous arm.
“What do think of Dippin Dots?” No hello, no how are you? Have not seen you in weeks… When he is straight to the point, I know he is pissed. Here is where I show my age. I have not a clue what a Dippin Dot is. I am thinking some new performance enhancing drug, perhaps a type of infection, venereal disease (once you meet Big Jeffy you will understand).
“What’s a Dippin Dot?” I dare ask.
“Its ice cream, but not ice cream.”
“Huh?”
“It is fake ice cream that has been cryogenically frozen to resemble candy or something.”
“That sounds good. Like the stuff you get at the National Air and Space museum?”
“No, tiny beads. It sucks! Cold Stone Creamery closed and my kid really likes the cotton candy flavor so I took him to Dippin Dots tonight. I go in their and ask for cotton candy and the owner, this little Asian guy who does not speak English started dipping out these little skittle looking things. I kept asking him where was the ice cream and he kept saying “This ice cream, this ice cream.”
At this point I am on the ground laughing my ass off as big 300lb Jeff is recreating the argument he was having with the store owner. In walk two gym employees, one 22, the other 17. They hear the word Dippin Dots and both tell us how they love them and how great it was they just put a store in the mall too. That is two stores within a 3 mile radius. So Big Jeffy asks them:
“You like them better than real ice cream?”
“Yeah, they are so convenient. They’re great.” The 17 year old replied.
“Yes, regular ice cream messes my stomach up,” The 22 year old replied.
In walks a thirtyish female.
“You like Dippin Dots or regular Ice Cream?”
“Ice cream, I hate those stupid Dippin Dots.” She replies.
And so goes the poll.
In conclusion I can only surmise that only younglings like Dippin Dots, and if you don’t you must be old. I bet even our own Renegade Desert Cart, Grant, does not even like Dippin Dots.
Having no desire to taste a Dippin Dot, or still not really knowing what a Dippin Dot is I can only assume I am old.
Lesson of the day Grasshopper:
Get an attention span, screw convenience, and go get some real ice cream if the desire is that strong. Get some real homemade stuff made with real raw milk cream and organic sugar. Throw in some fresh peaches or strawberries and you will never have a desire for any thing like a Dippin Dot, Bryer’s, Ben and Jerry’s again. Get some raw milk yogurt while your at it, you won’t regret it.
Tune-age of the day: Hmm….David Lee Roth…. Ice Cream….???? If you can’t figure the tune of the day out then you are too young, go eat your Dippin Dots and get fat!
Yes I said it “I feel old!” Mark this date in your calendars my students for this is the first time I ever, ever, ever let such words creep out of my mouth.
Why would I utter such nonsense?
Could it be fatigue from hurdle work?
Perhaps two blocks of tumbling?
Please people this is a Renegader here.
Then you would guess it would have to be the three four minute rounds of rope work, right?
11 minute session of ladder drills?
5 rounds of GPP?
Oh, perhaps the one armed snatches with a barbell?
Pause squats?
Split jerk?
Pull ups?
No? Then it had to be the 30 min session of LPS followed by Pink, right?
Knees? Back?
Really people, I could have done it all again if I wanted, well except perhaps the LPS. Ah who am I kidding I could have went at it again with just a tiny bite to eat. No, I was not feeling old from any of these fantastic exercises separate or combined. In fact I felt really good, my nervous system was aflame! I felt old because of two words…….
Dippin Dots.
Yes you heard me, Dippin Dots!
WTF JJ? You suffer another concussion?
No concussion my friends just a run in with one of my power lifter friends.
There I am finishing up my stretches when in walks “Big Jeffy.” Think Westside folks, go ahead stereotype its okay. Think big Viking tattoo that looks to have been inked in a Russian prison plastered on his enormous arm.
“What do think of Dippin Dots?” No hello, no how are you? Have not seen you in weeks… When he is straight to the point, I know he is pissed. Here is where I show my age. I have not a clue what a Dippin Dot is. I am thinking some new performance enhancing drug, perhaps a type of infection, venereal disease (once you meet Big Jeffy you will understand).
“What’s a Dippin Dot?” I dare ask.
“Its ice cream, but not ice cream.”
“Huh?”
“It is fake ice cream that has been cryogenically frozen to resemble candy or something.”
“That sounds good. Like the stuff you get at the National Air and Space museum?”
“No, tiny beads. It sucks! Cold Stone Creamery closed and my kid really likes the cotton candy flavor so I took him to Dippin Dots tonight. I go in their and ask for cotton candy and the owner, this little Asian guy who does not speak English started dipping out these little skittle looking things. I kept asking him where was the ice cream and he kept saying “This ice cream, this ice cream.”
At this point I am on the ground laughing my ass off as big 300lb Jeff is recreating the argument he was having with the store owner. In walk two gym employees, one 22, the other 17. They hear the word Dippin Dots and both tell us how they love them and how great it was they just put a store in the mall too. That is two stores within a 3 mile radius. So Big Jeffy asks them:
“You like them better than real ice cream?”
“Yeah, they are so convenient. They’re great.” The 17 year old replied.
“Yes, regular ice cream messes my stomach up,” The 22 year old replied.
In walks a thirtyish female.
“You like Dippin Dots or regular Ice Cream?”
“Ice cream, I hate those stupid Dippin Dots.” She replies.
And so goes the poll.
In conclusion I can only surmise that only younglings like Dippin Dots, and if you don’t you must be old. I bet even our own Renegade Desert Cart, Grant, does not even like Dippin Dots.
Having no desire to taste a Dippin Dot, or still not really knowing what a Dippin Dot is I can only assume I am old.
Lesson of the day Grasshopper:
Get an attention span, screw convenience, and go get some real ice cream if the desire is that strong. Get some real homemade stuff made with real raw milk cream and organic sugar. Throw in some fresh peaches or strawberries and you will never have a desire for any thing like a Dippin Dot, Bryer’s, Ben and Jerry’s again. Get some raw milk yogurt while your at it, you won’t regret it.
Tune-age of the day: Hmm….David Lee Roth…. Ice Cream….???? If you can’t figure the tune of the day out then you are too young, go eat your Dippin Dots and get fat!
Oh and for the record I never said the "Old" word aloud, so just erase that mark of the calendar.
1 comment:
I am NOT a fan of Dippin' Dots. Never have been. In fact, they annoy me. Unless you can put it over a hot brownie, melt hot fudge on top, and finish it off with whipped cream and a cherry, it ain't ice cream. I'm a purist when it comes to food.
MMmmm... brownie sundae, arrrggh.
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