Did the NFL commissioner reverse any of the Patriot’s victories after discovering their cheating ways?
Did Baseball reverse any of the games won by infected blood?
Did Warner Bros make Cecil Turtle give back the $10 he won beating bugs under questionable circumstances?
Did Baseball reverse any of the games won by infected blood?
Did Warner Bros make Cecil Turtle give back the $10 he won beating bugs under questionable circumstances?
Of course not!
Should I go on? Do you really want me too? It is rather depressing. Golf, swimming, Nascar, MMA, Boxing, Roadrunner & Wile E…….
I will stop there as I am depressing myself.
My question for this blog is if the Idols of millions can get away with cheating why can’t I? After all I am a professional athlete.
Doesn’t this mean I am obligated to cheat?
Doesn’t it mean I have a free pass to cheat?
So why then did my recent victory in the ring get reversed well after the referee made his decision and rose my hand?
By being a professional athlete are my cheating ways restricted to drugs, sex scandals, gambling problems, or skeletons released from a closet somewhere?
Obviously it appears so.
I guess I thought cheating, well any kind of cheating was acceptable. I guess I thought wrong. And yes, one time I thought I farted and actually...well you know the rest.
Here is the scenario, you tell me:
For ten minutes my partner and I battled the team of the Heavyweights. Clearly we had the upper hand and were dominating this team comprised of one pencil necked geek and an undersized string bean (thanks Magnum). Wanting to put an end to the match I grasp all 120lbs of String Bean in a Fisherman’s Suplex (also called Perfectplex) and drive him into the mat. Still holding onto to what little frame a string bean has I bridge up for the pin. One, two…. Wham! “What the,,,,?”
Pencil Neck is on top of me driving fists into my stomach, successfully breaking up the count.
Obviously, I suppose, if you are pretty boy this type of cheating is acceptable. The ref thinks so. Of course I insist that he gets back to the corner so I can try pinning String Bean again. The next thing I know someone throws a cane in the ring and it lands in my hands. The ref turns and sees me with the cane, which I am just holding as I am a little confused as to how it got their. I give the cane to ref quite freely and return to pinning String Bean. One, two, three. (Yes my suplexes are that deadly.)
“The winners by pin fall Leather and Lace” the ref announces. Done, another victory, another notch upwards to a title shot.
“Hold it, hold it!” Shouts the new owner of ECWA as he approaches the ring. Here he has spotted someone in the crowd with a video camera and asks to borrow it. On the big screen he shows the cane in my hands, the ref taking it away, and this is where it gets weird. Somehow that video guy photo shopped the image of my partner climbing in the ring and another cane being thrown in the ring. It also shows my partner, Hot Shot Mike Reed, whacking the skull of String Bean with it. Of course the owner reverses the decision as I am not one of those pretty boys.
Even if this was not a doctored video, come on! My team loses on account of a this? Our title shot delayed because of this? How is this not biased? Is this not acceptable behavior in professional sports?
Politics, bah!
I can not wait to make it to the Big Leagues where this type of travesty would never happen. It would be accepted and I made into a hero! I would probably even get a contract extension and bonus out of it too.
Should I go on? Do you really want me too? It is rather depressing. Golf, swimming, Nascar, MMA, Boxing, Roadrunner & Wile E…….
I will stop there as I am depressing myself.
My question for this blog is if the Idols of millions can get away with cheating why can’t I? After all I am a professional athlete.
Doesn’t this mean I am obligated to cheat?
Doesn’t it mean I have a free pass to cheat?
So why then did my recent victory in the ring get reversed well after the referee made his decision and rose my hand?
By being a professional athlete are my cheating ways restricted to drugs, sex scandals, gambling problems, or skeletons released from a closet somewhere?
Obviously it appears so.
I guess I thought cheating, well any kind of cheating was acceptable. I guess I thought wrong. And yes, one time I thought I farted and actually...well you know the rest.
Here is the scenario, you tell me:
For ten minutes my partner and I battled the team of the Heavyweights. Clearly we had the upper hand and were dominating this team comprised of one pencil necked geek and an undersized string bean (thanks Magnum). Wanting to put an end to the match I grasp all 120lbs of String Bean in a Fisherman’s Suplex (also called Perfectplex) and drive him into the mat. Still holding onto to what little frame a string bean has I bridge up for the pin. One, two…. Wham! “What the,,,,?”
Pencil Neck is on top of me driving fists into my stomach, successfully breaking up the count.
Obviously, I suppose, if you are pretty boy this type of cheating is acceptable. The ref thinks so. Of course I insist that he gets back to the corner so I can try pinning String Bean again. The next thing I know someone throws a cane in the ring and it lands in my hands. The ref turns and sees me with the cane, which I am just holding as I am a little confused as to how it got their. I give the cane to ref quite freely and return to pinning String Bean. One, two, three. (Yes my suplexes are that deadly.)
“The winners by pin fall Leather and Lace” the ref announces. Done, another victory, another notch upwards to a title shot.
“Hold it, hold it!” Shouts the new owner of ECWA as he approaches the ring. Here he has spotted someone in the crowd with a video camera and asks to borrow it. On the big screen he shows the cane in my hands, the ref taking it away, and this is where it gets weird. Somehow that video guy photo shopped the image of my partner climbing in the ring and another cane being thrown in the ring. It also shows my partner, Hot Shot Mike Reed, whacking the skull of String Bean with it. Of course the owner reverses the decision as I am not one of those pretty boys.
Even if this was not a doctored video, come on! My team loses on account of a this? Our title shot delayed because of this? How is this not biased? Is this not acceptable behavior in professional sports?
Politics, bah!
I can not wait to make it to the Big Leagues where this type of travesty would never happen. It would be accepted and I made into a hero! I would probably even get a contract extension and bonus out of it too.
Our loss to the Heavyweights is comparable only to Bugs Bunny being robbed of his victory against Cecil Turtle.
Ah Grasshopper you have returned. Sadly, no training for you! I am too upset from this weekend’s events. Comeback tomorrow when I return to my place of tranquility.
Ah Grasshopper you have returned. Sadly, no training for you! I am too upset from this weekend’s events. Comeback tomorrow when I return to my place of tranquility.
1 comment:
In the words of Jesse "The Body", er, "The Mind" Ventura:
"Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!"
What you described illustrates a complete lack of style and grace. What happened to the referee's decision as being final? When cheating falls short, retaliation is the retort.
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